" Old Madness "
by "Will I ever lay my head down to sleep with a smile on my face? The boredom that consumes my everyday life is exhausting. The pictures in my head are more beautiful than the landscapes in my reality. I have hobbies. I have interests. I talk when spoken to; I even smile sometimes. Nothing gets me closer to understanding, or being understood.

I move to new places, make new friends. I frequent favorite dives, I try new ones. I keep in touch with my old friends, I even have made some new ones. I get drunk at bars and go home with men and sleep with them. I get drunk, go to bars, and sleep alone. Nothing seems to make a difference, not one incident makes a dent in my life. I try to crack the glass of my depression. Nothing penetrates.  I used to think it wouldn’t always be the same, but I’m tired of repeating the same thing over and over again. A broken record gets no one dancing.” (via thewayfaringfox)